When to look for help

Many parents struggle with the issue of seeking help for their children. Some common concerns parents have are:

• Is my child behaving normally or is this because                  of the divorce ?

• Should I be worried about how they are reacting?

• When should I seek help ?

• Where should I go for help ? 

Generally speaking, the rule of thumb is to trust your instincts as a parent. You know  your children better than any one else. In many instances, I recommend parents seek a professional consultation for themselves before taking their children in to see someone. Consultation services can be an excellent way for parents to get objective feedback about their child's circumstances. They can  also often provide parents with the tools they need to help their children. If you would like more information about coaching with Christina McGhee  click here.
 

General Guidelines on When to Seek Help

►If abuse of child or spouse has occurred,

    seek help immediately .          

    The safety of children should always be the first priority.

► You witness drastic changes in child's

     behavior or personality, 

    e.g., intense mood swings, excessive crying, over/under  

    eating, sleeping problems, a change from very out going to 

    withdrawn.

► Child has made statements regarding self-harm

    or a desire not to exist.  

Example statements "I wish I had never been born". "Maybe   things would be better off with out me around. If your child has made statements, which indicate a desire to hurt themselves, please take these statements very seriously.  While a child may  not have the intention of ending their life, they are letting you know something is clearly not okay. They need your help. Also, it is important for parents to  realize that even young children can make these kinds of statements.

►Your child seems stuck or unable to move out

   of a stage or feeling                                                                                                    

►The problem or behavior escalates or is ongoing  

    Lasting longer than six months or more

►Reported school problems or significant changes

   in school performance.

►You, as a parent, feel unable to cope with your

   child's reactions or behaviors.

Where to go for help

If you feel your child needs help it does not mean you have

to sign them up for years of psychotherapy. Other avenues worth

checking into are school programs, divorce support groups

at local churches or other religious institutions as well as, with

your local Mental Health Agency.

If you decide to seek out a therapist or counselor, keep in mind some of the following pointers.

1. Interview First

Set up an initial interview either by phone or in person. Use

this time to ask questions regarding therapist credentials,

background, professional experience and area of expertise. How

often do they work with families experiencing divorce? Do they

work with children? What is their professional philosophy about divorce?

2. Make sure children feel safe

Make sure you and your children feel comfortable, as well as,

with the professional you choose.

3. Check Credentials                                                         Don't be afraid to ask about a professionals background. Be certain the person you work with has the appropriate credentials, training and or is licensed in your state or country.

Get help for your children

Children's DVD

Program

Children's Workbook

"A must have for  any parent who has struggled with how to talk to their children about divorce."

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 "Christina,                 …thank you again for the information you provided and the manner in which it was delivered, your messages were just what I needed to hear. I would certainly recommend your class and will continue to utilize the resources you've provided. "